捫心自問，我們允許孩子擁有獨立思考的時間嗎？或者這麼問，我們是否擔心讓孩子自己思考，孩子便有可能逐漸不聽話？實際上，不少家長確實害怕這類狀況，於是習慣性以「過來人」之姿，直接或間接幫孩子做決定；當孩子與自己意見相左時，便急著改變孩子，希望孩子乖乖聽自己的話。這種做法的背後，固然是想保護孩子，但我們必然無法陪伴孩子走完一輩子，倘若孩子未來遇上需要獨自面對的難題，孩子又該怎麼辦呢？
既然如此，我們就必須得讓孩子成為自己生命的主導者，而這前提是讓孩子擁有獨立思考能力！以下提供幾個方法：
鼓勵孩子擁有許多「問號」
如果孩子能被賦予質疑的機會、敢於表達自己的獨特觀點，孩子的世界也將隨之改變。然而在傳統教育中，孩子似乎不被允許擁有許多的「問號」，一方面是大人們覺得孩子鑽牛角尖、另一方面是大人們恥於面對超出自己能力範疇的問題。
然而真正的學習應該要能創新，想得到真正的智慧，就要不斷地問為什麼。因此家長需鼓勵孩子進入尋求「問號」的思路：在問題中思考，在閱讀中思考，更要主動詢問孩子為什麼，這目的是讓孩子養成「問問題」的習慣。這習慣的重點在於掌握思考的方法，結果並非最重要的事物。
練習問出三類好問題
「好問題」能幫助孩子思考「問題的解決方式」，而能啟發孩子獨立思考的問題有三類，分別是：基於事實、基於偏好及基於判斷。
a.基於事實的問題即是透過5W+1H（誰、什麼、哪裡、什麼時候、為何、如何）讓孩子思考事件可能的全貌，例如：「為什麼會發生這種事？」、「這件事在哪裡發生？」、「誰要為這件事負責？」等，越是能夠釐清事實，便越能夠找到相對應的解決方案。
b.基於偏好的問題與孩子的觀點和想法有關，例如「你最喜歡今天的哪個節目？」、「你對蔬菜有什麼看法？」等，待孩子回答後，可在進一步詢問「為什麼」，讓孩子學會思考及解釋自己的觀點。
c.基於判斷的問題則是需要多種論證、難度偏大的問題，例如「你覺得要怎麼做才能拯救這盆栽？」、「你要怎麼做才能製作一座沙堡？」等。透過反复論證，孩子將會發現答案不僅一個，更重要的是，通過這種訓練的孩子會對自己更有責任感。
針對主題進行有深度的討論
針對主題進行深度討論，是開發大腦的最佳方案。討論是一種藉著與他人互動，以進行訊息和意見交流的方式。透過與孩子討論，孩子將聽見多種角度的見解，而這些見解可作為修正自己想法的依據，也可成為激發孩子深入思考、腦力激盪、誕生出全新觀點的基礎。
例如孩子詢問：「恐龍為什麼滅絕了？」我們可以這麼說：「我覺得是極端氣候，那你覺得是什麼原因呢？有什麼科學性證據呢？」這樣越來越深入的對話會迫使孩子思考，激發孩子的好奇心，而為了佐證自己的想法，孩子就會主動去查詢資料、尋求答案。當孩子經歷越來越多這類促使主動學習的深度討論，孩子必然會更願意進行獨立思考，自行摸索出問題的解方。
Ask yourself, do we allow children the time to think independently? Or, perhaps answer this question: Are we afraid that if we let our children think for themselves, they might gradually become disobedient? In actuality, many parents have such concerns, so they, as “experienced” people, often make decisions for their children, both directly or indirectly; When children hold an opinion contrary to theirs, they rush to change the children’s mind, hoping for obedience. The reasoning for this approach is to protect the child, but we can’t be there for them forever. If in the future, children need to face hardships on their own, what will they do?
With that being said, to let children be leaders of their own lives, we have to nurture their ability to think independently. Here are a few methods to achieve that:
Encourage Kids to Ask Many Questions
If children are given the opportunity to raise questions, daring them to express their own unique point of views, their world will consequently change. However, in traditional education, children seemingly aren’t encouraged to ask questions. On one hand, adults think children stubbornly ask questions that have no purpose or answers. On the other, they are also ashamed when faced with questions beyond the scope of their knowledge.
Nevertheless, true learning needs to be innovative. To obtain true knowledge, it’s necessary to constantly ask why. Therefore, parents must encourage children to seek questions: when pondering over problems or reading, it’s doubly important to ask children why? to build the habit of asking questions. The main goal is to master thinking inquisitively. The results aren’t the most important part.
Practice Asking Three Good Questions
Good questions can help children think about problem-solving and inspire independent thinking in kids. They are divided into three: fact-based, preference-based, and judgment-based questions.
- Fact-based questions use 5Ws and 1H (who, what, where, when, why, and how) to let children think about the possibilities and see the full picture. For example: Why did this happen? Where did this take place? and Who is responsible for this?. The clearer the facts are, the easier to find the corresponding solutions.
- Preference-based questions are related to children’s viewpoints and opinions. For example: Which part of today’s show is your favorite? or What do you think about vegetables? After they answer, ask why as a follow-up question to let children think deeper and explain their own view.
- Judgment-based questions need more reasoning and are more challenging. For example: How would you save this potted plant? or How would you build a sandcastle? Through reasoning, children will learn that there is not only one answer. What’s more important is that children can develop a sense of responsibility for their own decisions.
Conduct In-depth Discussions on Topics
Conducting in-depth discussions is an optimal way to develop the brain. Discussions rely on interacting with others, exchanging information and ideas. Through discussions with children, they will get to know other perspectives, which can be used as the foundation to refine their own opinions, and also motivate deeper thinking, brainstorming, and conceiving a whole new perspective.
As an example: When a child asks, Why did dinosaurs go extinct? We can say, I think it was due to extreme climate. What do you think? Is there any scientific evidence? Increasingly deeper dialogues can compel children to think, stimulate children’s curiosity, and drive children to support their ideas by seeking new information. As children experience more and more of these in-depth discussions that prompt them to take initiative when learning, they will inevitably become more willing to think independently, exploring solutions for problems by themselves.